Dear Melissa,
My daughter is about to have
her first birthday, and we want to start weaning her from the pacifier. Any tips?
I too started weaning both
my children from the pacifier around 1 year of age. And, in my experience, the final step of eliminating the pacifier completely at 2 years of age was one of the hardest
things I have done as a parent!
Again, a pacifier is a strong
source of comfort for many infants/toddlers. And for children with Autism and/or Sensory Processing Disorders, letting go of this consistent source of self-soothing can be particularly difficult. Why exactly do we feel it is necessary to take something away that our little ones so dearly love? Well,
nobody ever said parenting was easy. We
are the adults. We know that pacifier
use shouldn’t last forever. As I have
discussed in several recent blog posts, extended pacifier use can
hamper speech development, social development, as well as dental/oral structure.
Again, this is HARD. There are many tricks you can try to help the
weaning process along, but ultimately a child should be weaned from pacifier
use by 2-3 years of age to prevent long term complications/delays. What
trick(s) you try vary widely depending on the age of the child. Here are a few
of my favorites:
Wean early
If you stop the pacifier
“cold turkey” before 6 months of age, the baby hasn’t really developed the
chance to voice a strong opinion in the matter. Yes, there will likely be a few days of crying as she learns a different
method of self soothing, and you will likely find her wanting to nurse or drink
from a bottle more frequently during this time. However, many parents swear that this “cold turkey” method is way easier
in infancy than waiting until she has grown into an opinionated toddler.
Wean gradually
I
personally used this approach. You
slowly disallow the pacifier in more and more environments until you are only
left with the night-time pacifier (which is hard to give up!). You might start with “no paci at daycare”,
then “no paci while playing”, etc. In my
house, we worked pretty quickly to the pacifier only being allowed in the car
seat and crib. This makes bedtime and
car rides much more enticing, but it is also very hard to wean the pacifier
away from these times when soothing is so needed!
Make it
less desirable
This method works so well that the people at
the One Step Ahead store have even created a product to mimic it. But, let me save you $29.95 plus S&H! For this method, you take away all of the
pacifiers in the environment except for 2-3. The child can have these pacifiers any time she wants. BUT, you begin to very gradually cut off the
tips of these pacifiers, millimeter by millimeter, at whatever pace you choose,
until the child is only left with the hard plastic part, and nothing left to
chew on. (Warning: Make sure that the remaining plastic part is not a choking
hazard). As the rubbery nipple gets
smaller and smaller, the child will loose interest, and no longer ask for
it. Problem solved, no tears!
Give it away
This method is more
appropriate for an older child. The
child must be old enough to understand cause and effect and be able to
participate in simple storytelling. Often this occurs around 2-3 years of age. For this technique, you
discuss with the child that she is getting older and is now a “big kid”. As part of the story, she can either give the
pacifier away (such as to the baby classroom at daycare), or she can leave it
for the “Paci Fairy”. Better yet, choose
to do this around Christmas/Easter and have Santa or the Easter Bunny do their
magic. Whatever story you choose, the
magical entity takes pacifiers to babies, and your now "big kid" kiddo may enjoy a new "big kid" toy from the Paci Fairy or Easter Bunny. But here is the kicker. Once you make this
exchange, YOU CANNOT GO BACK TO THE PACIFIER! If you turn back now, your child will know
that they can make you change your mind any other time in the future that you
try to set a firm limit. Not a fun
situation to get into with a toddler! Another
disclaimer with this technique is that you do not want to give the pacifier
away to a close cousin or a new sibling. This can just create jealousy and resentment toward the new baby in her
life.
A word of caution
Pacifiers are soothing. And again, they are particularly soothing for children
with Autism or Sensory Processing Disorders. If you take away something that is soothing from your child, she will
generally find her own replacement item/activity that is self-soothing. Sometimes what your child uses as the new self-soother is even worse than the pacifier! This is a whole different problem on how to
fix inappropriate oral sensory seeking. For tips on this, see my previous blog on this issue.
Do you have a question you would like me to address or ideas about pacifier weaning?
Don't hesitate to share!
Resources:
Are Pacifiers OK...A Dentist's Take, Monday's with Melissa Blog, Children's Therapy TEAM, posted June 15, 2015
Oral Sensory Seeking Help, Monday's with Melissa Blog, Children's Therapy TEAM, posted September 15, 2014
Pacifiers: In or Out?, WebMD, accessed July 2015
Pacifier Time vs. Language Development, Monday's with Melissa Blog, Children's Therapy TEAM, posted June 22, 2015
